so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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