I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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