I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
