You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
