oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
