Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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