Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
