Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
