Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
