In the future we'll all be gay
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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