yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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