Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
