idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
