Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
