its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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