...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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