I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
