Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
