i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize