Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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