It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We have so much sex to catch up on
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
