You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
