im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
