Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
