I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
