My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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