How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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