At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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