It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
