We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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