More tranny stories later!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bring me that man meat
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
