thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
