You work out of a Hotel?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
