I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
