real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
