My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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