Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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