I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
