I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
