You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
