Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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