he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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