Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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