Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
