Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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