its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
