she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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