take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
