she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
