Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Randomize
