and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
