you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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