i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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