So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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