living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
