Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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