if you like me you must not know who I am
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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