Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize