I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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