Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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