I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
