i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
