My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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