I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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