ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
