based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
