It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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