Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
