I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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