sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
either way he was missing a nipple.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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