respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My penis needs a shock collar
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
