Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
