Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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