No stitches, just platelets and will power
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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