Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
