He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
