By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
