Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
