The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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