Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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