i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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