toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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