His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
