on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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