What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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