When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she looked like the before picture.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
