don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
